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I Need a Miracle

I wrote this song while thinking of the hopelessness of this world and the need we have for a savior. Not a savior that we could ever create, but a savior that comes from the Most High Himself. it is a miracle when He overcomes the life of someone and rescues them from themselves.  That is how I truly feel. God is rescuing me from myself. He is ripping out this heart that is so cold, and so selfish toward Him and others and feels so hopeless and fractured by this fallen world and the sin that so easily overtakes us all.  I guess I wrote this after meeting Roberto, a Bisexual homeless crack addict that couldn’t stop talking about other people’s problems and how much He hated the world.  I see myself in Roberto, and when I get really honest with myself and severely honest with my heart I really am just like him.  Maybe not in my outward display of the human condition, but in my heart I am addicted to myself and always trying to feel above others and doing anything I can to make people think I am somehow better.  I remember Roberto saying “I am really worried about my boyfriend, he can’t seem to get off heroine and he has terrible health problems. I wish I could just help him stop and then everything would be fine.”  It was almost like he was saying, “if I could just get him to settle with crack and give up heroin he would be fine like me.”  He wanted to bring his boyfriend up to his level of morality, because in his mind, the state he was living in was better than that of his boyfriend.    hmmmm But then in my mind I am thinking “I want to bring both of them up to my level of morality, then both of them will be fine.”  But as I reflect I see that none of us were really coming up with the solution.  I was looking at Roberto the same way he was looking at his boyfriend. I was saying in my heart “if I could just bring him up to the level of religious discipline I have achieved, then he will be satisfied and his life will be better.”  I wasn’t getting it either. You see, there is someone else in the world saying the same thing about people like me. “If he would just take out his earrings then he would be a better Christian like me.” or  “If he would just dress more conservative, or talk this way or do this or do that….”  Fill in the blank.  We as humans are always trying to be one step up the ladder than our fellow man and unfortunately religion only adds to the chaos because our hearts naturally use it to make us feel better and more “spiritual” or moral than others and in a sense we use its teachings to justify judgmental condescending attitudes and self righteousness.  So what is the point of all this…  I guess I am still trying to figure it out too.  One thing I do know for sure is that Jesus loves Roberto and His boyfriend just as much as He loves me, and that He came to seek those who were lost and those who were spiritually bankrupt and knew they needed a Savior.  Jesus’ death and resurrection didn’t happen for us when we try and achieve our righteousness through the things we do.  In fact, the cross is worthless to us if we don’t see our utter failure to do anything right and our hopelessness to really know God apart from the work of Christ and the Holy Spirit.  Those are some thoughts… a bit scattered and they probably don’t make much sense. Like I said, I am still trying to understand the vastness of this Gospel that Jesus taught and it is so deep I think I just might have to spend my whole life diving even deeper.

I Need a Miracle

Fractured dreams a hopeless force

Callous heart of no remorse

Failing eyes the darkness scarred

Heaven’s border seems so far


Burning down…

Every-thing’s burning down

Stain Glass worlds don’t bring release

Stranger’s words don’t mean a thing

Empty ploys from mouth’s of men

Only open up the wounds again

A man made fortress always crumbles down

Down to nothing

What I need

Can’t be here, it can’t be here

I need a Miracle

I need a Miracle

Rip my heart out

Cut this stone out

I can’t heal myself

I need a Miracle