A new Educator just moved in….
I tell you what, homeschooling is NOT for the faint of heart.
In fact, the first month of December (and even on into January), I was asking myself, “WHO in their RIGHT MIND, would DO this?!?”
(I’m obviously not in my right mind, especially attempting it with three younger ones to keep occupied while “school” is happening).
I felt like a steam engine that has to keep plowing through chaos (think tornadoes, blizzards, and hurricanes) while tugging four, no make that, five little train cars behind it.
YOU JUST RUN OUT OF STEAM EVENTUALLY.
And it usually doesn’t look pretty….
for me it comes in the form of yelling at the kids, many tears on my part (and their’s) and a constant complaining spirit (on my part and theirs).
So, we had to hit the drawing board again with this whole endeavor, and do some serious seeking of God’s face to rescue a)me, and my quickly-sinking-into-depression heart, b)this whole educational endeavor, and c)my son’s disgust for “school” due to the drudgery of it all.
As I camped out out in my room praying, journaling, and homeschool-blog-searching (the kids were quite occupied with (and relieved by!) room-play, a.k.a. Legos, imagination, bunk bed adventures) The Holy Spirit started convicting me of the ways I had declared my homeschooling agenda and asked God to get on board with it by helping it all to run smoothly.
You can either humble yourself or BE humbled.
And asking God to get on board with your agenda is not exactly the humble approach, and in His grace, He humbles his children to shake them out of their foolish self-reliance and prideful endeavors.
It just hurts sometimes.
BUT, it is so worth it in the end.
Because, once I realized that instead of saying “God, I’ve gotta homeschool our kids so that they can get a good education, know your Word, and be protected from the many agendas out there, so could you please help me do this?” and instead started saying,
“God, could YOU educate our children, and give them a Holy-Spirit filled love for your Word, and give them a firm foundation in your ways, and cause them to learn all they need to know? Just use me as you see fit to accomplish YOUR agenda for them.”
Then peace started to enter our home again.
And the Accuser-of-the-brethren voices that told me I never got enough accomplished, and that I needed to run a better schedule so that everything happened like clock work, and that my kids were way behind everyone else, and I’m just ruining my children, and so-and-so could homeschool 7 kids and keep a perfectly organized house, so why can’t you handle just 4 kids…those voices…I had an answer for them. And my answer that I have to repeat in my mind (and even out loud sometimes) was that the God who created these little people, HE is the one teaching them, so if “nothing was good enough”, you’d have to take it up with HIM. Because He is Lord. And HE’s in control of how much has gotten done today. And if He can run an entire universe, He sure enough can run our home and our little Iverson Academy. I’m just his servant. I work for Him. So the burden is off me. And I am carrying an easy and light yoke, that my Savior teaches me to carry.
To abide. To listen. To obey the little promptings. To love. to cherish. To delight in.
And if geography doesn’t happen today and the laundry didn’t get folded, I don’t have to go balistic on my kids trying to drag them into more productivity. God’s got it. And maybe He has a great geography lesson that will unfold tomorrow. But for today, I obeyed, and I guided the little sheep entrusted to me. And that’s good enough.
I’m so thankful that a new Educator has moved in.
And so are my kids.