From the Mouths of Babes…Adoption Options
Friday we had our final adoption home study meeting in which our caseworker came to our home to approve it as safe and suitable for the addition of another child (we will be paper-ready by next week!). One of the last interviews was that of our children to ask how they felt about adopting. Being put on the spot, they offered up their timid “I’m excited.” or “I want a new baby to play with.” or “I want another cute kid in our family.” Katy-Grace, our not-so-timid child, announces,
“I want a blonde baby girl!”
Judith, our caseworker, knowing we will most likely be adopting a transracial baby, asks,
“Well, what about baby with dark skin.”
No, I don’t want a black baby, I want a blonde baby!”
(I’m quickly realizing that “blonde” doesn’t just mean the color of the hair, but the color of the skin as well)
So we ask her about her cousin (adopted from Ethiopia) and all her little playmates, and her best friends and the babies of our friends who she thinks are so cute who are all black or hispanic. And she still insists on having a “blonde baby”.
And we let it rest, and I praise God we have an awesome caseworker who wasn’t phased by our four year old’s expectation of who, in her mind, we would be adopting.
Then, last night at Chuck-E-Cheese, completely surrounded by all colors of skin and ethnicities (we were the ONLY white people there),
I ask her about it again.
“So, Katy-Grace, why do you only want a blonde baby?”
and she gets right to the heart of the matter.
“Their hair is so soft. Why do black babies have such puffy hair? I don’t like it when it is so puffy (some of our friend’s babies have HUGE afro’s…evidently its a bit intimidating for her). If we get a black baby can we do their hair so its not so puffy?”
“Yes, honey, we’ll do their hair so its not so puffy, and probably we’ll get a little boy baby and we’ll cut his hair like boy hair”
“Ok, we don’t have to get a blonde baby!”
And it was resolved.
The last of the Iversons to agree on the transracial adoption we are pursuing.
What sealed the deal?
A truce over the hair style.
Editor’s Note: While reading this aloud to the family before posting it, Benjamin pipes up,
“I…I…I.. want adopt Asher!!! (his cousin, adopted from Ethiopia, who we all greatly anticipated joining the family for over a year)
We can’t do that, honey! He’s already adopted!”
he settles on the next best option…
“I want adopt a boo (blue) baby….”
and he heads down the stairs to go find something to play with.
I can’t win. Seven people weighing in on who we will adopt.