You know, sometimes, I get so ambitious and want to have such a big impact on the world for Christ. I want to be used in mighty ways to make His Name known, to bring lost hurting people into His family, to be a beacon of truth and light to the confused, dark, and broken world we live in.

And then the daily grind of my responsibilities (and FAILINGS) hit me in the face…poopy diapers, child discipline and training, sweeping the kitchen floor for the 19th time that day, not to mention the Mt. Everest of clean laundry (yet to be folded) that I have to leap over in my bedroom (which actually resembles more of an overflowing volcano after all the kids have trampled through it) etc. I don’t even have time to finish my cup of coffee in the morning, much less go out and win the world for Christ.

Well, one morning in July, while we were still at a camp where Danny was speaking  (who, by the way, WAS being used mightily to win people to Jesus-he had a captive audience of 500 twice a day…the Spirit was moving and kid’s lives were changing) I was able to rise ever so quietly without the kids waking in order to get some daily bread.

I read Mark 9:35, which says:

“If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all.”

I copied the verse into my journal with this note “This is mothering! Being the servant of all-all the constant needs and demands of my children”

I went on to write out the next few verses as well:

“He took a little child and had him stand among them.  Taking him in his arms, he said to them, Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me, and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the One who sent me.”  Mark 9:35-37

There it is:  If I want to be great, or have a great impact, I must be the servant.  The servant of all the little unnoticed things…but things that ARE noticed, because when I wipe that nose, or that butt, when I give that embrace, when I wash that body, when I read that book, when I play in the pool, when I do each one of those things in the name of Jesus I am doing it to the Son of God and therefore I am doing it for the Creator God of the Universe. And HE’S the only audience worth obtaining.

BUT just to prove Himself faithful on His Word.(about exalting the humble and laying low the proud)

The very next morning, after I was once again reminded of the call to be the servant in the background, I found myself IN FRONT of those 500 teens and leaders at the camp sharing my testimony as to how faithful my Savior had been throughout my mom’s sickness and death, a 10 year battle with an eating disorder, the death of all my plans for my life, the loss of our second child to a miscarriage, and the sundry sufferings we walked through in Newark. I got to STAND UP and testify to the promise after promise that God had first given and then kept and I got to challenge the youth to embark on the journey of sitting daily at their Savior’s feet with His Word open and hearts attentive.   It was an unexpected privilege and a joy and a very important lesson.

For as we drove home from the camp, the Lord reminded me that He will use me as HE sees fit.  Whether that be wiping bottoms or speaking in front of a crowd.  And until I am content and joyful in doing the former, I am not qualified to participate in the latter.